Now that we have crossed the threshold into 2019, and my intentions are set, I have been circling around this idea quite often. Actually, as I am writing this, I’m realizing that the truth is that this label has been circling ME, and popping up everywhere in my life.
My main intention for 2019 is to live in my truth. Using the word “intention” instead of “resolution” is a purposeful choice for me, and it has already changed how I go about my daily life. For me, resolutions equal pressure, and result in success or failure. If you’ve stayed with me this far, you can probably guess how successful I was at keeping resolutions in the past. (Cough, NEVER, cough, cough!)
To set an intention, is to slow down, go within, and honor what you find there. Sit with yourself and really dive deep to recognize where you are right now. And then…WITHOUT JUDGMENT, you start from there.
Part of living in my truth is accepting that where I am today is enough. Who I am today is enough, and the only person who gets to define that is ME. This has always been an ongoing challenge for me, which is exactly the point of my intention this year.
So, speaking of me…I am a Lightworker, and that identity is a huge part of my truth. Instead of searching the internet for quotes or definitions that resonate with who I am, I felt compelled to share my own definition of what it is to be a Lightworker, and humbly intend to live up to it.
For me, being a Lightworker is not all sunshine and roses, (although I know that may seem a tad contradictory as I write this with a mane of bright pink hair on my head). In fact, it is quite the opposite.
In order to see/feel/experience/channel/reflect divine light, you must first walk through the dark. In keeping with my truth, I MAY have a flair for the dramatic…..so I didn’t just walk through the dark- I lived there. For a while. I know it’s names, and many faces, and how easy it is to feel overwhelmed, and terrified of the unknown- to feel stuck in the muck of your own bleakness. Because of this, I became very familiar with this place. I stayed there so long that I started to realize that I NEEDED to live there to learn the lessons that were sent, in order to be able to access the light, and help others seek it out. And so, I ACCEPTED the dark.
Because of everything I have gone through in my life, (the specifics of which would need another post entirely), I don’t take light or love for granted anymore. Calling myself a Lightworker is a badge of honor. To me, it represents the fact that I battled my demons and came out on the other side. It also means that I can sit with the dark now, because I know the pathway home. It is lit up with ritual, prayer, humility, intuition, grace, spiritual community, and honesty.
To live between the light
and the dark is to embrace the gift of constant change and growth, and to not shy away or run from hard things. If we cannot receive these things- we cannot heal.
I strive to live as a Healer, because I am not afraid to bare my scars in order to show others that they too can find their light in the world. It’s not “me” doing the healing, I just show up with all that I have walked through, and am willing to share it. In that way, a Healer to me, is just a guide. Everyone has the ability to heal themselves.
I choose to live in a way that radiates hope, light, and love. Some may say or see that as just fluff…but I see it as choosing to honor the dark, so that I can step fully into the light. If I did not respect the dark, I wouldn’t be able to access the level of light that I have experienced.
Living in my truth this year means that I will be just as open about the difficulties of life as I am with the beauty of it….and OWN all of it, as uncomfortable as that may be. I keep reminding myself that if I am uncomfortable, it’s because I am experiencing something new, or outside the realm of my everyday life. And there’s a bit of magic in that, I think.
A candle is just wax and wick until you give it a spark….and once lit, it becomes an endless source of light and warmth if it is tended to, and passed on… a Lightworker is that original candle, now awakened by the spark of life, and is just waiting to tip his or her flame to light up any candle in need.